Still There Is Time

Soooooo it's been three weeks since I've last posted and I'm really regretting that now because I am staring at my computer blankly trying to remember what has happened. These three weeks have felt like a lifetime. Okay. So I am looking at my journal right now and eating a cookie..okay not one cookie. Holly and I made a plate of no-bake-cookies yesterday out of chocolate, peanut butter, and oats but sadly those cookies no longer exist. Oops. Worth it. Okay so I have a lot of catching up to do. Sorry if this is rushed:

In September I went back to Raichur (the district capital) to finish registering with the police. Everything went smoothly and I got to shake the Police General's hand which he was super happy about. I was just glad that I wasn't kicked out of the country. Sr. Rosbie and I picked up Fr. James who I had not met at that point and traveled back to Deodurga.

The kids then had a two week holiday and went home to their families. Some of the kids live close but others had to take 12 hour bus rides to get home. I spent my first week of holiday in bed with the flu.  Luckily it wasn't Dengue Fever or anything, but I did have to spend one night in the clinic under Nurse Rosbie's care. I watched "UP" on repeat. Cannot get enough of that movie. I have decided I want to start my own Adventure Book! Holly and I kept having to delay our plans to go visit Matt in Bangalore because I wasn't better. Finally, Holly and I were able to go to Bangalore, then to Mysore to see the Elephant Palace for the Holiday's celebration.

The Elephant Palace was beautiful and during the day we got to go inside it. Holly and I became local celebrities and had our pictures taken with everyone. Someone followed us around with a video camera. Yup. We went to Chamandere Hill where there was a temple all lit up at night and from the top of the hill we could see the palace shimmering with all of it's lights turned on as well. We went back down the hill after I got some elephant souveniers and played cards under the lights of the palace. Perfect day. The next day was my Adoption Day so we celebrated by going around Mysore. Matt got to come to Mysore with us, and even though he may regret coming a little bit cause his phone got stolen, we had a good time. Funniest thing was that his phone got stolen at the zoo! Those animals! We had an amazing lunch at a hotel where we saw a famous Indian movie star. Brother Praveen and his cousin Vinod wanted to pretend that I was a movie star so that they could go talk to her...still not sure how this would have worked out but maybe someday haha! Then we went to a lake to take a boat ride. Brother, Vinod, Holly, and Matt were so cute and surprised me with a cake to celebrate my adoption day! It was a beautiful day and we ended up sharing the cake with everyone at the lake. Good day.

Continuing the tradition of shoving cake into the
celebrated persons mouth!

One morning back in Deodurga, Hero the guard dog was lying on the basketball court as I was about to walk to the convent. Now, mind you, all of the fathers and boys say he is ferocious so I was very wary when he started running at me because I was the only one awake and about, but he came up snuggled, licked my hand and proceeded to walk me all the way to the convent before dropping me off and turning around! It was seriously the sweetest. He hasn't done so since, but it was greatly appreciated because sometimes younger men stand around a bridge to watch me pass in the mornings. It was beginning to freak me out because they kept coming closer and closer each day. But when Hero walked with me, he barked and growled once at them and I haven't seen those men a day since! Thanks , you're my hero. (Sorry for the puns, didn't get much sleep last night).

Scouts and Guides- the equivalent of Boy and Girl
Scouts :)

These weeks have gone by so quickly because three of the four fathers and two of the four sisters have been gone. Holly and I have been at full attention for quite some time now and are wary of the kids running wild. We said Farewell to Sister Jismy and welcomed a new Sister, Sr. Sebi Mary, into the community. I taught the kids the Goodbye song from Out of the Box that I knew as a kid and had them sing it to Sr. Jismy at her party (so long, farewell to you my friend. Goodbye for now until we meet again). It was sweet but she scolded me later for making her cry! haha! The kids are absolutely darling and I cannot express enough how much I love them. I spend a lot of time with the lower class children (kindergarten-4th) but I am getting to know the older girls more and more.

The older girls recently have started playing this game called "Pass" where they try to slap another person on their back as hard as they can and scream pass...I am not a fan of the game. Sometimes I can't tell when it's a game and when it's an excuse to hit another kid. Hitting has been the biggest cultural challenge for me to adjust to so far. The teachers, community members, and children alike hit the kids when they are misbehaving. Some children have older siblings here, so it is left up to the older sisters/brothers to discipline the young children. I have been here for a month and half today, and in that time I have done my best to change this policy, and so far it has been going pretty well. However, it is so engrained in the kids mind that their automatic reaction is to hit. When I was little and my mom caught my sister and I fighting, she would make us sit on the stairs and hold hands until we apologized, and then we would hug...that tradition has now made it to India. More and more now, the girls are coming to me to explain situations or what has happened in various circumstances rather than "beating" as the kids call it. It is very affirming for me to see how the children are actually minding what I say and relying on me to carry things out. The kids have also picked up very quickly on the fact that I will not hit them, no matter what they have done. So, as expected, some girls try me almost every single day to see what they can get away with. My consistent reaction is to send the troublesome few to the chapel to pray and tell God that they are sorry for being a bad student/bad boarder. I got this suggestion from Holly, and so far it has worked really well. Sending to the chapel is for the "naughty" children as the Fathers would say- but most punishments include apologies to the child they have hurt (shocker), extra duties such as cleaning the refectory after everyone has finished eating (that is a hated chore so its good to dole out in needed situations) or writing down letters saying how they are sorry and will change their ways. But, in the worst situations, I walk the child straight to Fr. Superior because I do not have a handle on the situation.  The only time I have done that was when a child slapped me in the face when I was scolding her for throwing food onto the floor and wasting.

Usually I do fairly well not speaking the same native language as the kids, because English is the second language of my state Karnataka, and although the younger children are learning exceedingly fast with me here, sometimes I need the help of a native speaker of Kanada. The girl boarders do not have one person who is in charge of them, which I am noticing is a problem, so I have thrown myself into the position and have noticed that now that they girls have someone to rely on consistently for their every need, they have relaxed a lot and things have been going more smoothly. Although I am exhausted at the end of every day from trying to be at the convent as much as possible on top of my other schedule, the changes in the children are so inspiring. So usually I would get up around 6 to go to the convent for morning mass, but with my new self assigned role, I get up at 5 so that I can wake my girls up in the morning and stay as long as  I can at the convent at night before I go back to the boys boarding for the 3rd and 4th tuition. Being present for them is really important because it shows they not only can trust me, but can come to me for anything. This past week has been the longest here so far, but also the most rewarding. It is also the happiest I have been here because I am getting to know each child individually.

Turns out my girls are really sarcastic and I love it. The other day one of my favorite 4th grade girls Prathiba fell down when we were walking back to the convent and was super dramatically rolling around on the ground when one of the others girls, Tanuja, turned around and started singing the Goodbye song as she walked away! All the kids started singing it and ran away from Prathiba and she was laughing hysterically on the ground. My kids are funny. Be jealous. The little ones are so snuggly and love to wrap themselves around you. One of my favorite things is little Abraham (pronounced Abrum) blowing kisses. He will tap me on the hip cause that's as high as he can reach, give a little smile then blow a kiss. Seriously to die for. I will try to capture this on camera. I need to preserve these memories! Another favorite time is bath time. Although I too get soaked, it is worth it to be with the kids and help them bath. Most of it is making sure they are actually using the soap and not pouring water on each other, but I have taken up singing songs to them. The naked dance is the best dance, don't know how to explain it. It's brilliant. Sister Mabel and I walked into the courtyard from talking outside to see a handful of children naked and running around only for her to scream, "Why are the children BUTT NAKEDDDDDD!!!!" I couldn't even stop them cause I was laughing so hard.

This is Abraham. Now imagine
him blowing you a kiss. Yes.

I think the new sister will be good for the girls. Out of all 65 girls, only 7 passed all of their exams. 7. Most of the girls failed multiple classes. So I am brainstorming how to change the way they study. As of now, all of the girls who are below 5th grade sit on the ground below one light at night to study and are lacking pens and pencils. I have just taken over tutoring the third and fourth standard girls twice a week and the third and fourth standard boys all other days of the week.  All 7 of the girls did not pass all of their classes and one girl failed 6 of her 7 classes. With all of the sisters gone besides the new sister, I have been in charge of all 65 girls. So far it hasn't been too stressful because Sr. Sebi Mary and I get along well, but I have taken this time alone with the girls to implement some of my own rules in regards to study time, and so far it seems to be going well. The kids usually just memorize their homework for class and do not understand the context of anything, but with the new system of focusing on one child for homework sessions, the girls are learning and understanding so much more. Sr. Sebi Mary was the principal of over 1600 students before coming here so I am hoping that together we can change what is expected of the girls as boarders and as students for the better.

Also, Holly and I have noticed the kids are lacking some basic school supplies that are in great demand such as scissors, pens, pencils, tape, glue, etc. We were thinking of doing a little donation drive to give to the kids for Christmas. I will think more about this and come up with a plan, but if any of you would be willing to help with their education, we would love to put together Christmas presents made up of supplies. You may even get a thank you card from some of the kids ;)

Brother gave a "Goodnight" to the boys about being present a while ago and it was exactly what I needed to hear. His main point was "still, there is time." Don't worry too much to prevent you from actually doing something. If it is not perfect then move on and do something else. You will have time to perfect things and give them the time they deserve. But do not take time for granted. Still there is time. Kind of my new favorite saying. If you got all the way down here, congrats! I will eat a cookie for you :)

V

Here's to hoping

And just like that, two weeks have gone by. 

Boom.

Happy two-week-a-versary!

In this last week, there have been many celebrations- Holly just celebrated her first month in India yesterday which was also the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi which the sisters at the convent I work at celebrated, and then Holly’s patron saint, Saint Therese, was earlier this week as well. For my two-weeker, I ate my secret chocolate bar…it was supposed to be for Christmas…but hey things happen. The only problem was that my secret chocolate bar wasn’t so secret… the ants also wanted in on the party and unfortunately had infiltrated the ziplock baggie…also unfortunately this did not stop me from eating it. Sometimes you can’t let the little things, like eating little bugs, get in the way ~ you just have to accept the extra protein.

Two weeks! Yeah!

This is a dull comparison to the festival that was had for the feast days! The children, sisters, and I decorated the whole convent for the Franciscan feast day and put on a celebration I will never forget with flowers and lights and the whole shebang! There was a dance some of my girls did which was beautiful, then mass where all of the children dressed their very best. Masses here are on Indian time meaning ~ who knows how long things will last or if they will even finish. (This goes for many things like when buses leave, when volleyball games start, basically applicable to any situation. However, Indian time does not apply to food. More on food later). The sisters had prepared a feast for my community and other sisters and fathers that had come to celebrate from surrounding villages. Posted photos below.

Still learning how to do everything and trying not to feel too incompetent. There have been ups and downs here ~ some very low lows and some tremendous highs ~ but everything is starting to fall to a happy medium. How wonderful “normal” is! I am adjusting to the climate, the schedule, the community, the bugs, the buffalo and other various beasts that I encounter walking to the convent everyday (the other day a pack of wild dogs stared me down and I got really freaked out cause I walk by myself and I was like wow no one would hear me scream). Still learning the ways of doing things and learning the kids names. They are slowly recognizing me as an authority figure not just the new white girl although I don’t think they will ever get over rubbing my arms and face and touching my hair. Apparently the thing to do in India when you like something a lot is to pinch a cheek (or anything really), squeeze extremely hard then bring your fingers together and kiss the tips of them. I have actually caught on really fast to that and do it all the time, as well as say “Super” and giving an OK sign with my hands when the children do something well.

The girls dressed in white in the middle
holding candles were the dancers.

I have an amazing site partner and we get along great. She’s really funny and sweet and I’m so glad I get to come home to her everyday. She can help me think through things that are more difficult, and understands my pain with exam week and trying to get the kids to actually study. Literally had to force them to study and threaten to send them to Fr. Superior for bad behavior. There was an ongoing list of the awful ones I personally wanted to smack upside the head ( I have allotted myself one mental tap on the head a day and so far the same girl has gotten it…every single day.) When things like this happen, I am so glad I memorized the Serenity prayer in grade school.  Strangely enough that same girl was the one that shoved others out of the way to sit next to me at the movie showing and eventually fell asleep in my arms. She looks nice when she sleeps- that’s new. There’s hope.

So right now during the school week I get up at 6, to go mass at the convent down the road at 6:30, help the kids do their morning duties such as cleaning, then help them get ready for school which includes tying their ties, zipping up dresses, tying shoes, brushing hair (trying not to get lice), etc.  That part is my favorite part of the day because the kids have time to just be their weird little selves (seriously Holly and I always comment on how strange they are). Then we eat breakfast and study. Head over to school around 9:30 in the morning. Usually this is my free time to do little errands for the fathers, email, Facebook, or nap. Then lunch which is usually just madness and trying to get the kids not to hit each other and actually eat their food. Around 4, I take the girls and young boys back to the convent where we have some free time to play then study more. Some of the boys from the other boarding school come and I help them as well, then walk them back at night. It's actually really fun because I play them American music and they show me their dance moves on the walk back which is about a mile (So far they really like Stevie Wonder and Lady Gaga). Rosary and dinner, then a “Goodnight” from one of the fathers . Then all over again the next day. On the weekends it is different, Saturday is like a normal school day and Sunday is their day off.

Some of my crazy little men.

I play volleyball, basketball, and soccer as often as possible with the older boys at school and with the fathers.  They are so competitive and yell really sarcastic things when you mess up like “Christmas came early” “you are playing suuuuuuper” “etc. So I die of laughter all the time or try not to cry from messing up haha. The fathers have consistently commented that I always smile even when I look “dull,” which means tired. I was offended for the first couple of days when they kept saying that, but now I’m over it. WHATEVER. Haha! I try to make up for my "dullness" in other ways. But what is interesting is that when I wear makeup to cover up the dullness, I am called a clown soooo I am trying to find the balance between the two! The community insists that we do not eat enough and that is the reason we are tired by the end of the day. My person theory is that running after 100 boarding children and 500 day schoolers all day is tiring…but nope it must be because I don’t eat enough. All meals are on time and plentiful. Holly and I both feel overfed at every eating although the community thinks we are starving ourselves What’s really funny is that everyone calls me fat here. I get it at least three times a day.  It was hilariously awful at first but now it doesn’t even phase me.  

The kids are trying to teach me how to say words in Kanada, which is the local language here, and they get a kick out of me messing up everything. It is very strange, but encouraging to be able to begin to understand some of the many things that we are seeing and hearing around us constantly. I love just being with the kids and now that I am beginning to understand more of what they are saying, it is a little easier.  They love to play hand games like with clapping and things (lemonade crunchy ice), to hold hands, or sit in my lap, or any sort of physical contact with me.  It is a good reminder for me of how important it is for children to have loving touch from someone older than them.  Last night after the feast, we watched a movie on the life of St. Francis, and because it was late, the little ones crowded around me vying for a spot on my leg to rest their little heads. At one point I counted eight children snuggled all around me. Confession: I was watching them sleep more than watching the movie. I didn’t even mind that my left leg promptly fell asleep and got pins and needles. They are just so starved for affirming attention.  Even the older girls and boys come and just want to talk for a while, just to have someone’s undivided attention.

Showing their pretty dresses.

Holly and I just got back from Raichur, the district capital, where we went by ourselves for the first time by bus. We succeeded in going to the bank (only went to two “out of service” ones before hitting the jackpot, not too bad!), the American store where we bought all the fixings to make an American dinner for the fathers and some extra snacks for just our little fat selves (haven’t kicked the craving for Goldfish yet, but Indian Pringles will just have to do), buying jewelry where we spent way too much money, eating random things off the menu, and finding the bus back home! So proud. Look at us on our own. And only counted a handful of people taking photos of us on their phones- that's better than the masses that we have had before! They are slowly getting used to "America" being here- people actually yell "America, America" to us as we walk along the street. Then we stopped at the local outdoor Saturday market to pick up some fresh veggies; it is absolutely crazy how many times we get oogled at by everyone passing by. Also, we have a new saying "Here's to hoping" which basically you can apply to anything like "Here's to hoping there is internet" "Here's to hoping lunch with the kids isn't a disaster" "Do you know what is going on? Here's to hoping..." It's pretty great. 

The quote that has really meant a lot to me this past week is by Max Ehrman, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.” The full quote is at the bottom of this page, but the beginning line is what has struck home. 

V

Ps. Holly and I want to buy a moped...good idea? The fathers don't seem to think so...

Watch out world! Holly and Veronica's Indian Adventure.

Pps. There are ants crawling in and out of the keyboard of my computer as we speak. Someone help. What even is this! There's no food in my computer. Ruthlessly killing them.

Ppps. Let me know if there are little things about living here that you are curious about, because they become so much a part of daily life that I forget to explain them to others.


Full Quote:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman